Giving Something Different
"Let's pretend we didn't hear that," the actor said. The words struck deep. Let's pretend it isn't happening, let's pretend it's all okay, let's pretend..." Many of us have said it to ourselves. It's how we keep relationships, friendships, or the family appearance. The problem with pretending is that we don't deal with the issue and end up repeating the game. I'm a pretty kind person. I am sensitive to the needs of others. But I had this attitude of superiority. I'd gone through tough times. You should too. You should know what I've been through, wimp. We call it the cycle of abuse. Giving to others what was given to us. It starts with saying, "Well, you think you've got it tough. You don't know what tough is." That one statement negates the other person's experience, and in effect, is gaslighting them. How about, "You need to toughen up if you want to be anyone." Or, "You think you have...