Deceiving Words

 

    It was a simple look, the dog glancing at the sidelines instead of at the actor who played his owner. Or the baby looking over the shoulders of an actor mom to see the real mom. Or the child focusing on someone on the side, taking cues from there as she or he tries to recite their lines. I notice these little details and other inconsistencies in movies that reveal playacting. I don't do it on purpose, that is, it is not my intention to critique a movie to death. I watch to enjoy. Still, for some reason, these subtle cues remind me this is all make-believe and pretense.

    That's why I question how I allowed myself to believe questionable things as a young person of faith. I was told things that defied reason, and yet I accepted what I was told because they said, "That's what faith is. Believing even when you don't understand."

    It sounds so good, doesn't it? Accept what authority tells you as coming from God. Surrendering is what  God asks of us.

    And yet, it's just that kind of faith that allows gaslighting. 

    Now I wonder how I accepted that excuse for so many years. When I questioned, I was told it was wrong to question God's representative. When I struggled because my intelligence was insulted, I was told this was my invitation to learn humility. 

    It took me a long time to see the light. My light came when I realized that a person's words are shallow without it influencing the way they live. If that person professes to one truth and lives in contradiction to that truth, they are not to be trusted. They are no more than actors.

    Because that's what abusers do: they convince you to accept what they say no matter how they act. And we get drawn in for many reasons: it's the faith we were born into; this person claims to value the things we value; we need to trust others even when we don't understand. 

    We fall for those reasons even when we have knawing doubts inside our souls. It's not just me. It's anyone who has been subjected to gaslighting.

    I want to encourage you to believe in the light. You find the light when you look, really notice the inconsistencies between what you are told and how the teller lives his or her life.

    Allow yourself to question what you hear. Truth is solid. It can stand the assault of questioning. 

    Allow yourself to believe in yourself. You are stronger than you know. You can identify reality.

    Allow yourself to stand up and make your voice heard. Speaking up isn't prideful. It's allowing yourself to become alive, to be seen and heard, to grow and learn.

    For all who have suffered from spiritual gaslighting, I say, don't let that destroy your belief system. I say, let it lead you to seek more earnestly, to considering fruits over words, to pull from deep within and take a chance on being wrong. It's not the worst that can happen

Being captive is.